Couples Counseling

What is couples counseling all about?

Both good couples therapy and good marriage counseling (there’s not that much difference between the two) put a knowledgeable third party in a position to see things you may not see and help to point them out for you. For example what I can do for you is:

  • Discover options you may not have thought of
  • Recognize relationship patterns (both healthy and unhealthy
  • Discover reasons behind reactions
  • What are each spouse’s Intentions
  • Learn about new Possibilities
  • Consequences of your words and actions
  • What are the hidden expectations
  • Understand the conflicts in expectations
  • Learn about the Beliefs you may not realize you hold

Good couples therapy helps to get you “unstuck.” Something about your relationship isn’t quite right, and whatever the two of you have done to change things hasn’t yet worked. Or you just don’t know what to do. An objective observer, a counselor, helps you find ways out of your “stuck-ness.” This is what I do.

I can help to explain your spouse’s irritating, oddball, or bad behavior and how you might be encouraging it. (Yes, spouses can do this and not even realize it.)

Good counseling may reveal flaws in your cognitions – those thoughts or perceptions you’ve formed and now apply to make sense of the present. For example, your spouse sometimes walks away during arguments and you interpret that as uncaring. In a later, unrelated event, she says something and walks away. In her mind, she has simply passed along a piece of information and gone about her business. You, because of the numerous arguments, think this is just another example of your uncaring spouse. You may have misunderstood the current situation. Good counseling would identify the cognition that you have an uncaring spouse so that you can decide whether or not it is true. Have you verified with her the reason why she walks away during arguments? And does it make sense to generalize the cognition to this or any other situation? These are questions applicable to couples counseling and your answers become the path towards seeing what is true or what is assumed to be true.

Knowing how relationships work in general is good but not enough. It’s personal. We need to know how you and your spouse can relate, given your different personalities and beliefs. Good counseling shows how incompatibilities can be turned into a pleasant thing. Happy spouses cherish their differences as advantages to their relationship.

Good couples therapy helps to get your perspective across to your spouse when you can’t and helps you see your spouse’s perspective. This isn’t just about learning “communication skills.” This is also about realizing how another can hold a point of view that conflicts with yours. It’s not that either of you has to change your thinking, it is about acceptance. Accepting that the other spouse can have a different, but still valid, perspective.

I help you achieve the goals you want, but for right now, you may not know how to achieve them.

Sometimes you think you know what you need when you really need something else. This can seem paradoxical. However, good counseling can point out what’s really happening.

Please contact me. Avoid going long term in pain and suffering from not receiving the love you really want and deserve.


Contact Us

Relational Counseling Services
141 Lookout Circle
Hutto, Texas 78634
(512) 795-4088



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