Couples Counseling

Both couples therapy and marriage counseling put a knowledgeable third party in a position to see things you may not see and help to point them out for you. For example what I can do for you is:

• Discover options you may not have thought of
• Recognize relationship patterns (both healthy and unhealthy)
• Celebrate your strengths you already possess and use these to enhance your relationship
• Discover reasons behind reactions
• What are each spouse’s intentions
• Learn about new possibilities
• Consequences of your words and actions
• What are the hidden expectations
• Understand the conflicts in expectations
• Learn about the beliefs you may not realize you hold

Couples therapy helps you get “unstuck.” Something about your relationship isn’t quite right, and whatever the two of you have done to change things hasn’t yet worked. Or you just don’t know what to do. An objective observer, a counselor, helps you find ways out of your “stuck-ness.” This is what I do.

Knowing how relationships work in general is good but not enough. It’s personal. We need to know how you and your spouse can relate, given your different personalities and beliefs. Counseling shows how incompatibilities can be turned into a pleasant thing. Happy spouses cherish their differences as advantages to their relationship.

Couples therapy helps you communicate your perspective to your spouse when you can’t and helps you see your spouse’s perspective. But this isn’t just about learning “communication skills.” This is also about realizing how another can hold a point of view that conflicts with yours. It’s not that either of you has to change your thinking, it is about acceptance. Accepting that the other spouse can have a different, but still valid, perspective.

I help you to clarify and achieve the goals you want as a couple.

Please contact me.